BONER PARTY!!!
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Head Writer: Ned Hepburn
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happy thanksgiving from me and natalie, and the taco truck on Romaine and Western in East Hollywood.
x
no matter what anyone tells you, fucking a catholic school girl is totally, totally, totally over-rated.
in truth and actuality - you have about a three hour window in her ENTIRE lifetime to actually have sex with her and enjoy it. this would be after the graduation ceremony and before the inevitable party where she’ll have more wayward dick put in her than a truck stop urinal. any time after that three hour window and all that repressed sexual energy eventually forces its way out over the course of her 20’s like a Vaginal Crock Pot set to the “Fuck You, Dad” setting.
Daisy Lowe & Catherine McNeil - Terry Richardson for Pirelli Calendar 2010
oh man, now i want to be a tire.
Leighton Meester
Ok so I helped make this picture about 3 weeks ago and it’s already on the dashboard? wtf?
What was the shoot for?
my penis.
that’s whats so fucking cool about dating a socialite. she’s going to have so many rad stories about how one time at the
- Paper
- GQ
- Sassy
launch afteryparty she was talked to by
- Jude “Fucking” Law (he added the “Fucking”)
- a fat mime in a little coat
- Michael Cera, on a three day meth binge
and how
- nobody likes a quitter
- racists dont tip
- fat people know where all the exits are
its like playing Mad Libs except there’s cocaine everywhere. sort of like my 8th grade graduation.
LoveBIRDS editorial debut in the NEW issue of FemaleFYI Magazine! Click-thru for article.
my friend Loren is, uh, kind of a babe. also she makes jewelry. also if you’re a girl you should go check it out. also the girl can eat like 50 fucking chicken wings. i’m just saying. go look.
Skinny Jeans Are Fucking Illegal, You Guys. Bro Culture Oppresses Us.
“Skinny pants” are the newest rage, and at least one area school district is aiming to keep them off school campuses. Seth Chamlee, a student at Kimbrough Middle School in Mesquite, found that out the hard way on Tuesday. School administrators gave him a choice: Go home, or trade his skin-tight skinny pants for slacks provided by the school. He went home. And he’s going to stay there.
i always wondered why they didn’t have an American Pie spinoff that was just early 00’s Natasha Lyonne squatting over a hand mirror with a flashlight for two hours while Third Eye Blind songs play in the background. i would have totally paid to have seen that.
this one time i had a french new-wave boner. it was about an hour longer than it should have been and had no direction.
why is is that christian fundamentalists think sodomy is a bad thing? i bet if they were offered the 2nd photograph they’d shut the fuck up about it. they just hate gay people, not sodomy. that said: anal sex is a lot like vests, goatees, and showtunes. because gays just pull it off better.
ever seen a straight couple doing anal? they both make faces like their rent checks just bounced. its not classy at all. its like ordering salad for all three courses. you’ll never be totally fulfilled.
i’m just sayin’.
