BONER PARTY!!!
About
WRITERS:
Head Writer: Ned Hepburn
FOLLOW BONER PARTY ON TWITTER
clickerdoo:
Oh and heres my halloween costume
if i was the big blue anthropomorphic chair i would totally let you sit on me and tell me what the secret word of the day is. HA HA.
An Excerpt from my Romance Novel
With my nude, floral-painted body pressed firmly against the wall, I could only stand still and hope that it would blend seamlessly with the floral wallpaper, hiding me completely.
“She can’t divorce me if she can’t see me,” I thought.
Wipe that stupid grin off your face, Griffith Observatory. You do realize you’re wearing a dodgeball on your head? And still the shit-eater, huh? All right, I’m cutting you off now. The astronomers disapprove.
(Costumier: Eric)
y’know, that DOES win halloween 2k9 costume of the year: west coast edition.
i dont even have a caption for this. i want you to be the John Travolta to my Tom Cruise. there. Scientology.
(photo ‘Human After All’ by DropDead)
Morgan White, 2008
1234am, just got home. maximum of 5.15 hours of sleep ahead before I have to be up.
Here’s a picture.
ok. put your right arm up, palms up. now put your left arm up, palms down. NOW PRETEND YOURE A SHARK.
*I GOT A FEELING.*
if you think about it, a boner is alarmingly like Forrest Gump. he doesn’t know what kind of adventure its going on, but ultimately, it appreciates the verve and the wonder of every new place he travels to. he meets a lot of interesting new folks and has been in a lot of interesting situations. he’d run across the country for a girl if he really liked her. if he drinks too much Dr Pepper he has to pee. he’s simple, yet memorable. sometimes he wears a special hat. y’know what? thats what every penis should be like. Forrest Gump. just let him toddle down the road of life! he’ll find his way. he has a good heart. he means well. one time he punched a hippie.
also, i dont know about the rest of you, but if we’re still going with the Forrest Gump analogy that means that mine is two and a half hours long from start to finish. so theres that.
Practicing.
and yes, that is a green velvet couch.
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucckckkckckcck. i just Michael J Fox’ed. Huey Lewis did the opening theme. fuuuuuckkkk.
if you’re wondering what to put on when you first bring her back to your place, put this on, and LET THE PUPPY-BUMPING COMMENCE. by the time you get to ‘Go Your Own Way’ you should at least have your hand on a boob, and if you’re not dry humping by the second verse of ‘The Chain’ then you should just give up, walk to the window, light a Sherlock Holmes pipe, and take stock of the other more finite and tangible things in your life because clearly you are not a Gentleman that should be partaking in such scholarly activities as “Getting Your Fuck On On The Futon”.
(photo via chuckmore)
Carve it on to my fucking gravestone, Granger.
shes like a well made BLT. so simple yet so perfect.
friends of Boner Party, Miss Alie Ward and Senorita Georgia Hardstark have this viral video thats going all over the place, the McNuggetini. TRUE STORY: Georgia brings a flask to bars and swears like a sailor but she has a high voice which makes it sound like Rude Minnie Mouse. its pretty rad.
anyway if you haven’t seen it yet you’re a coconut. so watch it.
(photo via fuckyeahstvincent)
actually, heres a really good tip. if you see a hot girl at a bar or some shit, just wave. YES. ITS THAT SIMPLE. you don’t have to go all ‘DO NOT. SEEK. THE TREASURE’ at her from across the room. just wave.
man, a friend told me that. and it helped out. SelfConciousBro’s just need their shit together.
