BONER PARTY!!!

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A celebration of all things boner worthy. email us: bonerpartyparties at gmail (dot) com
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Head Writer: Ned Hepburn
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beforetheymakemerun: Devil eyes would it be sexist to say you look fantastic? i would like to buy you a half of a sandwich, a half of a coke, and a half of a bag of chips, just so everything is equal. we will then sit on the same side of the table as not to have any favoritism for direction. we will then watch a documentary on worms (because they are both male and female at the same time!), perhaps dance to a Little Richard song (because he is both male and female at the same time!), and then we will hold eachothers hands at the same time - Coneheads style - and if you give me a full written waiver expressing your consent - we may proceed to have sex. by this time i will have already cued up the Enya cd you requested and - i dont know how im going to set this up exactly - but we’ll try and release the doves at the exact time that YOU come, ok? oh, me? its not my place as a male to come during sex. i came way, way earlier in the day into a dryer sheet while i was sitting in the Arbys parking lot. did i offend you by saying that? i’m sorry. does my presence offend you? i could walk behind you if you’d like.

beforetheymakemerun:

Devil eyes

would it be sexist to say you look fantastic? i would like to buy you a half of a sandwich, a half of a coke, and a half of a bag of chips, just so everything is equal. we will then sit on the same side of the table as not to have any favoritism for direction. we will then watch a documentary on worms (because they are both male and female at the same time!), perhaps dance to a Little Richard song (because he is both male and female at the same time!), and then we will hold eachothers hands at the same time - Coneheads style - and if you give me a full written waiver expressing your consent - we may proceed to have sex.

by this time i will have already cued up the Enya cd you requested and - i dont know how im going to set this up exactly - but we’ll try and release the doves at the exact time that YOU come, ok? oh, me? its not my place as a male to come during sex. i came way, way earlier in the day into a dryer sheet while i was sitting in the Arbys parking lot. did i offend you by saying that? i’m sorry. does my presence offend you? i could walk behind you if you’d like.

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